I reckon you ain't familiar with these here parts
You know, there's a story behind that there saloon
Twenty years ago, two outlaws took this whole town over
Sheriffs couldn't stop em
Quickest damn gun slingers I've ever seen
Got murdered in cold blood
That ol' saloon there was their lil' home away from home
They say the ghosts of Bad and Evil still live in that tavern
And on a quiet night
You can still hear the footsteps of Slim Shady and Royce Da Five-Nine

[Eminem]
I don't speak, I float in the air wrapped in a sheet
I'm not a real person, I'm a ghost trapped in a beat
I translate when my voice is read through a sismograph
And a noise is bred, picked up and transmitted through Royce's head (AAHHH)
Trapped him in his room, possessed him and hoist his bed
Till the evilness flows through his blood like poisonous lead
Told him each one of his boys is dead
I asked him to come to the dark side, he made a choice and said

[Royce]
Who hard? yo I done heard worse
We can get in two cars and accelerate at each other
To see which one'll swerve first
Two blind bandits panic, whose mental capacity holds
That of a globe on top of nine other planets
Kissed the cheek of the devil
Intelligence level is hell-ier than treble peakin on speakers in the ghetto
Dismissal, I'm not a fair man, disgraced the race of a atheist
Intercepting missles wit my bare hands like a patriot
One track sliced without swords, I buried the Christ corpse
In my past life when the Black Knight mounted the white horse
And stay over-worked, its like the Nazis in the nations
Collaborating, attemptin to take over the earth

[Eminem]
Cuz this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil
We hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people
He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve Segal
Above the Law cuz I don't agree wit police either (shit, me neither)
We ain't eager to be legal
So please leave me wit the keys to your Jeep Eagle
I breathe ether in three amounts
When I stab myself in the knee with a diseased needle
Releasin rage on anybody in squeezing range
Cold enough to make the seasons change into freezing rain
(He's insane) No I'm not, I just want to shoot up and I'm pissed off
Cuz I can't find a decent vain

[Royce]
The disaster wit dreds
I'm Bad enough to commit suicide and survive long enough
To kill my soul after I'm dead
When in danger it's funny actually my flavor's similar to a waiter
Cuz I serve any stranger wit money
I spray a hundred, man until they joint chains
While slippin bullets at point blank range like they was punches
Piss on a flag and burn it, murder you then come to your funeral
Serve this lobbyist, strangle your body then confirm you
Whippin human ass, throwin blows crackin jaws
Wit my fists wrapped in gause, dipped in glue and glass
I'm blazin MC's, at the same time amazin MC's
Somehow MC's ain't that eye-brow raisin to me
>From all of angles of us, flash a mack loud enough to cast a avalanche
And bust till volcanoes errupt

[interlude]
*phone rings*
Hello? (Billy) Aiyyo what's up (we're comin to get you)
STOP, THEY KNOW IT'S US!!

[Eminem]
I used to be a loudmouth, remember me? (uh-ah)
I'm the one who burned your house down (oh)
Well I'm out now (shit), and this time I'm comin back to blow your house up
And I ain't gon leave you a window to jump out of
Give me two fat tabs and three shrooms
And you won't see me like fat people in steam rooms
And when I go to hell and I'm gettin ready to leave
I'ma put air in a bag and charge people to breathe

[Royce + (Eminem)]
Cuz this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil
And we hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people
He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve Segal
Against peaceful, see you in hell for the sequel
(We'll be waitin) See you in hell
Wall Street, Royce Da Five-Nine, Slim Shady
See you in hell for the sequel (bye bye)
Bad Meets Evil, what? (till next time)

[Cowboy]
And so that's the story when Bad Meets Evil
Two of the most wanted individuals in the county
Made Jesse James and Billy the Kid look like law-abiding citizens
It's too bad they had to go out the way they did
Got shot in the back comin out of that ol' saloon
But their spirits still live on till this day
Shhh...[spits] wait, did y'all hear that?
[Footsteps and windblowing]

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. [scratches] Slim Shady
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. [scratches] Slim Shady

Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class
for one second?

[Eminem]
Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?)
My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight
but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast
C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off!

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
My English teacher wanted to have sex with me in Junior High
Thanks alot, next semester I'll be 35
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
and stapled his nuts to a stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup
Extraterrestrial, killing pedestrians
In a space ship while they screamin at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do (Damn!)
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph
(Dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!'

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (Fuck that!)
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
(Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
(Whoops!) Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!)
YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAHHH!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulletproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)
I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had